I’m at a loss for words and really don’t even feel like writing. But I should, I guess. No good reason. Been kinda down in the dumps lately…
I don’t understand people and a previous post explained (kind of…) what happened. Yes, I’m the one that broke it off but it was him that came groveling, wanting another chance. What the hell, I’m an idiot… I took the very last sliver of hope I had and hesitantly bought in to the next hand. Then I found out the other day that he is now “official” with his ex-girlfriend who is…….
….WAIT FOR IT…..WAIT FOR IT….
HIS BEST FRIEND’S EX-WIFE. And I’m not talking about “best friend” as you know it. This is pretty much his BROTHER. Ugh…I almost threw up in my mouth. So yes, this girl was his girlfriend, left him for his best friend/brother, GOT MARRIED, divorced and surprise…they are now back together. Is this beyond FUCKED UP to anyone other than myself? And I do apologize for the all CAPS…but I’m fucking blown away. Needless to say, heavy drinking ensued directly following said event. Got off work Friday and a 12-pack was gone before 10 p.m. But thanks to a lovely guy friend (who is also rather hot) I kept drinking. So I blame it on him that I ended up having to stay at a friends house that night. Luckily my sleeping bag was in the trunk.
I love it how I do nothing but be awesome to this person and it all gets thrown back in my face. Frankly, I’m glad the drama is over and I can get on with my life. This is an instance where I can say with confidence that I, during the so-called relationship we had, did absolutely nothing wrong. I’d be the first to admit if I screwed up in any way. It just boggles the mind though as I sit and ponder the situation. What is WRONG with me? Did I really do something (when I know the answer is already NO)? Is this what I always have to look forward to in a relationship? Maybe I’m just fucking nuts for even thinking we would have a chance.
Then I begin to mentally beat myself up.
So there. That’s why I haven’t written. And, no, I don’t feel any better. It’s all a bunch of lame ass whiney bullshit on my part. I know I’m better off but it doesn’t make the situation any easier to understand.
